Growing, Growing, Gone
This week, I'd like to talk about outgrowing people. Something that we typically instill in ourselves is that friendships last forever. Partners may come and go, but friends are forever.
Or are they?
As I have gotten older and met more and more people I have realized that nobody has to be in my life forever. I've been able to make great friends and make some pretty horrid ones as well. I have met people who care with all of their being and are willing to be in a mutual friendship. But I have also met people who would take and take from me, not caring about how much they left me with.
And you know what I have to stay? Good heckin' bye! When I was younger I had myself convinced that friendships were a set in stone thing and that people would age with me. However, I have quickly learned that you do not owe anyone your friendship. Some people are so toxic and do not deserve to be in your life. And that's okay.
It is so important to make sure that we surround ourselves with people who build us up and help to make us the best versions of us possible. We also need to make sure that we acknowledge when people are not good for us, and when it is time to let them go. It is also so very important to know that we are going to outgrow people. And that is normal and okay. Though it may be scary, it happens and it is okay to leave people who are not at the same level as us.
Now, here comes the hard part. Leaving old friends in our past.
This last part is not an easy feat. Some people have been around us for years and have been there for some really great times. But the past does not define our current relationships. Just because someone was a good friend once, does not mean they are overall a good friend. I have met friends in my life that have helped me once or twice, but overall treat me horribly. And to that, I say no thank you! I have also had friends who I had surpassed as far as personal growth. This became a problem for me because these people tended to bring me down. Friends are meant to build you up, not weigh you down.
However! I'm not saying to go around and end friendships because your feelings were hurt once or twice. I'm saying, if someone tends to weigh you down... leave them behind. It may be hard at first, but in the end it will serve you so well to leave negative people behind. Also, you do not have to cut people off completely. Simply cut down the time you spend with them. Maybe this means you don't see them every week or text them every day. But in the end, it is so beneficial to rid yourself of consistent negativity.
So, let me sing this out very loudly for you. Some people do not belong in your life. Your friendship is a privilege, not a right. You deserve to be surrounded by happiness and love, and to feel like you belong and that you are wanted. Do not let negative people rule your life or make you question your worth. Leave them behind and allow yourself to grow without them.
Lastly, remember that people do not grow at the same rates. Just because you outgrew someone, does not mean that you are done being friends forever. Someday, your paths may cross again and your friendship might be 100x better at the time. And finally, remember that your friendships are like relationships. If your partner was treating you the way your friend is, would you stay with them?
I hope this little post helps you guys to realize that you're worth so much more than mean friends lead you to believe. You are all magical and deserve to be surrounded by happiness and wonderful people.
If you have any topics you would like me to discuss, please leave a comment below or send me a message on instagram*.
Xoxoxoxo,
Allie
* my user is @booksbyarp
Or are they?
As I have gotten older and met more and more people I have realized that nobody has to be in my life forever. I've been able to make great friends and make some pretty horrid ones as well. I have met people who care with all of their being and are willing to be in a mutual friendship. But I have also met people who would take and take from me, not caring about how much they left me with.
And you know what I have to stay? Good heckin' bye! When I was younger I had myself convinced that friendships were a set in stone thing and that people would age with me. However, I have quickly learned that you do not owe anyone your friendship. Some people are so toxic and do not deserve to be in your life. And that's okay.
It is so important to make sure that we surround ourselves with people who build us up and help to make us the best versions of us possible. We also need to make sure that we acknowledge when people are not good for us, and when it is time to let them go. It is also so very important to know that we are going to outgrow people. And that is normal and okay. Though it may be scary, it happens and it is okay to leave people who are not at the same level as us.
Now, here comes the hard part. Leaving old friends in our past.
This last part is not an easy feat. Some people have been around us for years and have been there for some really great times. But the past does not define our current relationships. Just because someone was a good friend once, does not mean they are overall a good friend. I have met friends in my life that have helped me once or twice, but overall treat me horribly. And to that, I say no thank you! I have also had friends who I had surpassed as far as personal growth. This became a problem for me because these people tended to bring me down. Friends are meant to build you up, not weigh you down.
However! I'm not saying to go around and end friendships because your feelings were hurt once or twice. I'm saying, if someone tends to weigh you down... leave them behind. It may be hard at first, but in the end it will serve you so well to leave negative people behind. Also, you do not have to cut people off completely. Simply cut down the time you spend with them. Maybe this means you don't see them every week or text them every day. But in the end, it is so beneficial to rid yourself of consistent negativity.
So, let me sing this out very loudly for you. Some people do not belong in your life. Your friendship is a privilege, not a right. You deserve to be surrounded by happiness and love, and to feel like you belong and that you are wanted. Do not let negative people rule your life or make you question your worth. Leave them behind and allow yourself to grow without them.
Lastly, remember that people do not grow at the same rates. Just because you outgrew someone, does not mean that you are done being friends forever. Someday, your paths may cross again and your friendship might be 100x better at the time. And finally, remember that your friendships are like relationships. If your partner was treating you the way your friend is, would you stay with them?
I hope this little post helps you guys to realize that you're worth so much more than mean friends lead you to believe. You are all magical and deserve to be surrounded by happiness and wonderful people.
If you have any topics you would like me to discuss, please leave a comment below or send me a message on instagram*.
Xoxoxoxo,
Allie
* my user is @booksbyarp
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